these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
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in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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