I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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