3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
