I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
