It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
