i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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