Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
