Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
