kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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