Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
