Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
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