btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
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