god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Randomize
