just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
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