Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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