If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
