you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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