I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
