Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Randomize
