Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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