Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
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Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
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It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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