If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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