So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Randomize
