I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
