Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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