My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
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I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
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Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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