big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
