some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
