Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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