she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
