She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize