party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
