Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
