Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
