is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
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