I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
