on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Randomize
