He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
