fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
