No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
