Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize