You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
