can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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