Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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