just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize
