he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
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