Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
