left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Randomize
