she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
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