Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
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New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
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You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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