The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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