Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
