4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
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