The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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