Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
