Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize