Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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