i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
