Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
